Questions...Round Two!!
Here's another installment of questions sent by Tritia for me to ponder, which I will respond to in today's edition of my 'blah'g... Her questions are in bold and my responses are in plain text. So here goes:
0. Why?
Because.
1. What is your least favorite letter of the alphabet?
Fuckin' Q!!! Because when you're playing Scrabble you can't do a damn thing with that letter unless you have a U!
2. If your diet only consisted of a single food item, what would it be?
Chili. Or is that not a valid response since chili is comprised of a few different food items and hence not essentially a single food item?
3. Half empty or half full? (aside: my answer to this question has always been "Too big.")
Empty as the soulless shell I call a body...which houses the black and wilted stump I call a heart.
4. Would you rather be crucified or buried alive?
Not basing my answer on the fact that 'Buried Alive' is one of the greatest Mercyful Fate songs ever, I'm going to go with buried alive because at least there's a possibility of escape without much damage (anyone seen Kill Bill Vol. 2? If you haven't and/or are planning on purchasing it, you might want to wait until September because Miramax has a Special Edition DVD of Vol. 1 & 2 slated to come out at that time). Even though I get anxious and hence claustrophobia would emerge in said situation, I would at least feel comfortable that I've got a shot at getting out of it, be it by rescue or my own adrenalin-crazed insanity before I run out of air and suffocate. Crucifixion is a problem for a few reasons. Since you are being NAILED to a cross, then even if you managed to be rescued (I highly doubt you'd escape) the chance of you living a functional life are pretty much next to nil. However, on that note, crucifixes are the kind of public execution tools that are guarded when in use, so good luck on the rescue/escape end. The idea that most people have is that those who are crucified die from hunger while in pain. The truth is that most who died from crucifixion actually died from suffocation despite the fact that they were out in the fresh air. It's the way they pinned the people to the wood. There was no support beneath the feet so there was always a need for the crucifixee to push the body up and in doing so led to lack of air and ultimately suffocation. So in both situations, be it the cross or the box, your lungs are going to be gasping and thine tummy shall be screaming with a vengeance...but crucifixion causes irreparable damage while starving and suffocating you...in this case, better two out of three than three out of three...
5. If you could only watch one movie, over and over, for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What's with the tough questions? I'm torn. Evil Dead 2? Army of Darkness? There's also Shaun of the Dead or House of 1,000 Corpses... I'll go with Army of Darkness because not only does it bring back some fond memories but it also lacks any scenes involving protruding/flying eyeballs.
6. What do you want on your tombstone?
Pepperoni, sausage, and Canadian bacon...but NO CHEESE.
7. If you were an animal, what would you be?
An animal.
8. If you only had one month left to live, what would you do?
Anything that moves...
9. If you could be anyone else for just one day, who would you be?
Anyone else. Although my less asshole-ish response would be Bruce Campbell.
0. Why?
Because.
1. What is your least favorite letter of the alphabet?
Fuckin' Q!!! Because when you're playing Scrabble you can't do a damn thing with that letter unless you have a U!
2. If your diet only consisted of a single food item, what would it be?
Chili. Or is that not a valid response since chili is comprised of a few different food items and hence not essentially a single food item?
3. Half empty or half full? (aside: my answer to this question has always been "Too big.")
Empty as the soulless shell I call a body...which houses the black and wilted stump I call a heart.
4. Would you rather be crucified or buried alive?
Not basing my answer on the fact that 'Buried Alive' is one of the greatest Mercyful Fate songs ever, I'm going to go with buried alive because at least there's a possibility of escape without much damage (anyone seen Kill Bill Vol. 2? If you haven't and/or are planning on purchasing it, you might want to wait until September because Miramax has a Special Edition DVD of Vol. 1 & 2 slated to come out at that time). Even though I get anxious and hence claustrophobia would emerge in said situation, I would at least feel comfortable that I've got a shot at getting out of it, be it by rescue or my own adrenalin-crazed insanity before I run out of air and suffocate. Crucifixion is a problem for a few reasons. Since you are being NAILED to a cross, then even if you managed to be rescued (I highly doubt you'd escape) the chance of you living a functional life are pretty much next to nil. However, on that note, crucifixes are the kind of public execution tools that are guarded when in use, so good luck on the rescue/escape end. The idea that most people have is that those who are crucified die from hunger while in pain. The truth is that most who died from crucifixion actually died from suffocation despite the fact that they were out in the fresh air. It's the way they pinned the people to the wood. There was no support beneath the feet so there was always a need for the crucifixee to push the body up and in doing so led to lack of air and ultimately suffocation. So in both situations, be it the cross or the box, your lungs are going to be gasping and thine tummy shall be screaming with a vengeance...but crucifixion causes irreparable damage while starving and suffocating you...in this case, better two out of three than three out of three...
5. If you could only watch one movie, over and over, for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What's with the tough questions? I'm torn. Evil Dead 2? Army of Darkness? There's also Shaun of the Dead or House of 1,000 Corpses... I'll go with Army of Darkness because not only does it bring back some fond memories but it also lacks any scenes involving protruding/flying eyeballs.
6. What do you want on your tombstone?
Pepperoni, sausage, and Canadian bacon...but NO CHEESE.
7. If you were an animal, what would you be?
An animal.
8. If you only had one month left to live, what would you do?
Anything that moves...
9. If you could be anyone else for just one day, who would you be?
Anyone else. Although my less asshole-ish response would be Bruce Campbell.
posted by Scott at 12:48 PM
1 Comments:
Seriously? The idea of a normal person escaping from a coffin that has already been covered over with sod is pretty much laughable. I'm going to take a line from Monty Python and say that at least with crucifixion, you're out in the open air. (Even though you aren't actually getting any of said air.) Perhaps you could cut a deal with your executioners and request that you be tied to the cross instead of nailed. I can't see why not.
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