When Boredom Strikes...

Ok, I'm at work right now and bored out of my mind. So I emailed a few family members and asked them to email me stuff to keep me entertained. Doug sent me some great jokes and an idea...and Tritia sent me some 'Lame Questions' to ponder which I actually thought were great and are thus the subject of my 'blah'g today! Her questions are in bold...my responses are in regular text.

Would you rather die by drowning, burning to death, or freezing to death?
Drowning. It's quicker. Burning would be too painful and I'm going to be doing that in Hell for the rest of eternity, so might as well change it up a bit. Freezing to death would take too long and I don't have the patience...

Paper or plastic?
Plastic. It offers more of a variety of uses. For example, say your toilet is backed up, you really have to take a shit, and you don't know your neighbors well enough to go knocking on their door asking to mount their throne. Your deposit would soil the paper and could be potentially messy. It also wouldn't keep the smell in. Plastic, however, would be the Alcatraz of alternative lavatory options. No mess, no smell. Depending on what type of plastic bag you use, you could either tie the grocery bag handles into a knot, use a bag that closes via one of those twisty-tie thingies, or better yet, employ the Cadillac of makeshift depositories, the Zip-Loc. You could probably even use Saran Wrap, but I would imagine the aforementioned would work better. Anyways, God bless the Zip-Loc bag!

Energizer or Duracell?
Energizer...WAY better commercials. I mean, remember that Bermuda Triangle one they did years ago? Brilliant! Duracell has those lame-ass ones where it's like 'This crappy kids talent show is using the same battery that Bon Jovi uses!' Oooooo...it's also the same damn battery a New Jersey hooker is using in her vibrator...

Would you rather eat a live tarantula or a rabbit poop?
After watching Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom...rabbit poop...

Would you rather cut your finger off with a Wustoff or never watch another movie for as long as you live?
Wustoff...and I'd do it while watching Four Rooms

Damn Afterthoughts...

Ok, so here's a little something that I included at the end of an email I sent yesterday letting people know about the birth of this wretched sack of mental diarrhea I call a blog. Upon typing this tidbit I was too lazy to delete it, so I just sent it anyway along with my afterthought:

"Is it sad that I'm actually going to make an effort to go out and buy Blade: Trinity tonight? Yes, I'm totally ashamed of myself...but this shit is great Kiyoshi fodder. Blade 1 was great...Blade 2's story kinda sucked (yet Guillermo Del Toro's involvement and the fact that Ron Perlman had a role was bad ass...notice some similar locations to those in Hellboy!). Why am I not saving this for the blog? I don't know...see how fucking dumb I am?"

Yup. Why didn't I? Oh well. So yeah, was it sad that I actually made the effort to go out and buy Blade: Trinity last night? Yes. But as I mentioned above, it's a great flick to experience with my brother in B-movie watching, Kiyoshi (not actually my brother, but you get it...right?). We would tear something like this apart. You all should have been there when we watched Van Helsing...MWUAHAHAHA!!!
I won't kvetch too much about the content of Blade: Trinity because whatever I have to say is stuff you probably already know or don't care about anyway, but what I will say is I'm not opposed to owning movies that I think are sub-par. In the case of this one, it's got vampires...so there's a plus...and two people who have been in Christopher Guest movies...right on... This movie even features Blade going up against Dracula in one of the most boring and anti-climactic battles ever!!! Hehe...it is good for something though. Almost all DVDs these days have those wonderful special features that will teach you a thing or two about filmmaking, be it 'How to Make a Film' or 'How Not to Make a Film'...for example, I learned a lot from the 'Bringing Down the House' DVD...whether it was 'How to' or 'How Not to', I shall leave you to ponder...

Welcome to the Neighborhood

If you were wondering what this blog is going to be about, the title says it all: "Bits & Pieces"... It's not just a reference to the severed limb imagery that's permanently scarred into my brain; it's to inform you, the reader, that there's no general direction here...just ramblings. The title also helps keep me in check and will prevent me from writing two page blog entries where I start on a specific topic but then stray off into a million different tangents. So hopefully things will be relatively short and simple. No one really gives a shit about what I say anyway, so I guess this works out nicely...not a whole lot of effort on my part.