I Could Be Eating Anything Right Now

Sorry I haven't been around in almost three weeks! Things were uber-busy with trying to get my living space reorganized, prepping for the new job, and then actually starting the new job. In addition to all that, my internet connection at home is a bit screwed up at the moment and I don't have much time to get on the net here at work...that is why I haven't been able to post and that is why you haven't seen new Trivia for Squiggle issues...they're on the way, I promise! But at the rate I'm operating, we may have to scale it back to once a week again...until my internet at home gets un-fucked. Things are rather keen at "The Incredible World of DIC"...we'll see how long it takes until I jump out the window...

So I went walking around the area at lunch today, trying to find a place where I can just get something to go and bring it back to the office. There are a lot of sit-down restaurants around here...or if I were to try to get a to-go order with how busy many of these places seem to be, it might take a while and I don't have all the time in the world. So I found a not-so-busy hole-in-the-wall Chinese/Thai place that was adorned with all the traditional altars and figurines and signage and...everything! So I placed my to-go order for some mongolian beef (generally a safe bet at a new eating establishment) and while I was waiting for change I noticed a glass in front of one of the many religious figurines there...it almost looked like it had a clear top on it or was filled to the brim with water. I didn't think it was water because it was too peaceful and didn't move...even though it was by the door and when people passed by, the water remained completely still...so when no one was looking, I blew on it very lightly...sure enough, that was water! Yes, I am a dumb-ass... None of it spilled...and after that I noticed there were several other glasses of water and what I am assuming was red wine in front of more altars and figurines there. I'm still wondering if my curious act of disturbance was blasphemous in any way...even though it was not really intentional... So I get my order and it is labeled: Mongolian "Beef"... ... ...so, um "Beef"? hmmm...this could be the revenge of the gods against me or something...who knows what I'm actually eating right now! Oh well, fuck it, I'm hungry...

"Their world will never break me
They will never desecrate my soul"
-Cradle of Filth, "Coffin Fodder"

It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin

Sorry I haven't been around lately...I know I owe you guys an issue or two of Trivia for Squiggle and will get to the as soon as I possibly can. I could write VOLUMES about how crazy & shitty my work life has been...especially in the past couple weeks. I've had so little sleep as of late and I've been staying up until 2 to 3AM most nights to try and get stuff done...only to wake up a few hours later to start the same day again... I crashed at 10PM last night and then I was an hour late to work this morning because I had such a hard time getting up...and I'm still tired. But I just got a job offer this morning and I have accepted it...oddly enough, it's not the offer I've been waiting on at the company I've been doing all the shite for that's worked me to the point of complete exhaustion. I will now be working for the consumer products division of Dic Entertainment...which means I'll be dealing with such children's properties as Trollz, Strawberry Shortcake and Inspector Gadget, among others...yup, go go gadget!

The link below is AWESOME (especially if you've seen 'The Silence of the Lambs') and something I thought I'd share...hopefully it will tide you all over until I have some time to compile a new Trivia for Squiggle...

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

"There's a shark in the pool
And a witch in the tree
A crazy old neighbor and he's been watching me
And there's footsteps loud and strong coming down the hall
Something's under the bed
Now it's out in the hedge
There's a big black crow sitting on my window ledge
And I hear something scratching through the wall"

Trivia for Squiggle #XLIII

Soooooo...ended last year by not being able to post TFS stuff on time...now starting the year a day late with the trivia...damn holidays!!! I'm glad they're over. I may have to trim Trivia for Squiggle back to once a week again if a certain job opportunity pulls through...if it does, I don't think I'll have as much internet time as I do at the current job! At least, not at first... ... ...but we'll see, I guess...and I'll keep you posted. Today's installment of Trivia for Squiggle is all about sex and nothing but sex. =)

1051. As alcoholics have AA and drug users have NA, those who suffer from compulsive or pathological sexual behavior have the SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), which was founded in 1976 and features a similar twelve step recovery program.

1052. The word “fornication” comes from the Latin word “fornix,” meaning “arch.” Roman street prostitutes found much business underneath the arches of the Colosseum (originally known as the Flavian Amphitheatre).

1053. The end result of ingesting true Spanish fly is vomiting.

1054. A fluffer is a woman who helps to ensure a male porn actor’s readiness between takes. Their homosexual counterpart is a fluff boy.

1055. “Fag hag” is the term given to straight women who prefer the company of homosexual men.

1056. The word “negligee” originally came from the Latin “neglegere,” which literally translates as “don’t pick up” or “don’t clean the house.”

1057. The average man reaches his sexual peak when he’s seventeen or eighteen.

1058. Most women report that they prefer to have sex the dark.

1059. During cold weather, the male body automatically moves the testes closer to the body for warmth in order to keep things environmentally pleasant for the ever-at-the-ready sperm. The reverse happens in warmer weather, for the same reason.

1060. Men become sexually aroused every time they dream.

1061. Commercial sperm banks pay screened donors an average of $50 per specimen.

1062. The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right, although the right testicle has been found to be lower with left-handed men.

1063. If kept in a wallet, a condom usually loses its ability to protect after about a month, due to the body heat breaking the rubber down.

1064. The number of sperm that could fit into an aspirin capsule would be enough to repopulate the earth to its present numbers.

1065. The number of female ova necessary to repopulate the world could fit into a chicken egg.

1066. Readers of Cosmopolitan said they are more turned on by music than pornography.

1067. Most men produce the most amount of sperm between the ages of twenty and thirty.

1068. Jazz fans, gun owners, and those who lack confidence in the president are among the most sexually active Americans.

1069. A college-educated man is more likely to enjoy sex completely in the nude than a high school graduate.

1070. Married men masturbate more often than married women.

1071. Men have a tendency to fantasize more about scantily clad women than about those who are naked.

1072. Among primates, man has the largest and thickest penis.

1073. According to Playboy, most men feel that the most satisfying moment of intercourse is when their partner climaxes.

1074. Besides the genitals and breasts, the inner nose also swells during intercourse.

1075. The Mayflower Madam once remarked that of all her call girls, the redheads were the least desired by her clients.

"I scream through my bars at the stars
That for these crimes of mine solace me"

Happy 2006(66)!!!

Just wanted to say Happy New Year to everyone! 2005 sucked the nut, so here's to hoping 2006(66) is a whole HELL of a lot better than last year!

"As all great art is born from suffering, so are we."

Movie Quote Answers + HELLo!

Here is the long long overdue post of movie quote answers to finish out 2005. As a change of pace, as you'll notice above, I'm going to do lyrics from songs for a bit. Sorry I've been away. I was sick for a week starting Christmas Eve day...and then some asshole at my job sent me on a 'special assignment' to inventory tape elements at a dusty, dirty, cold-as-fuck warehouse...by myself...and I was still on crutches at the time. I don't ever expect special treatment, but perhaps just a LITTLE consideration??? My last work week of 2005 was MIS-ER-A-BLE... Hrmph... Well, at least it's over.

Before I get to movie quote answers, I just wanted to say that the TWO installments of Trivia for Squiggle that I was unable to post are available below this post. I've made the font size smaller for this movie quote post so it wouldn't take up so much damn space.

11/11
“Yeah, cop me a little bit of a feel every now and then, you know. Oh, look at that. She's kind of wet down there. What you boys been doing with this dead body anyway?”
R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Hoyt in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake.

"There are three things a man must do alone - be born, die and, well, we all know the other one."
John Leguizamo as Cholo in George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead.

11/14
"Dark and difficult times lie ahead, Harry. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right... and what is easy."
Michael Gambon as Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

11/16
"Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial, man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.
Matt Damon as Loki in Dogma.

11/17
"The moral of the story is, don't be a dick, Dick."
Vin Diesel as Xander Cage in xXx.

11/18
"Salt, gathered from the tears of a thousand angels, restraining the essence of Sammael, the Hellhound. The Seed of Destruction. This I can promise, Sammael, for every one of you that falls, two shall arise."
Karel Roden as Grigori Rasputin in Hellboy

11/21
"I don't want to be one of those things...walking around without a soul."
Michelle Rodriguez as Rain Ocampo in Resident Evil.

11/29
"What a fitting end to your life's pursuits. You're about to become a permanent addition to this archaeological find. Who knows? In a thousand years, even you may be worth something."
Paul Freeman as Dr. Rene Belloq in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

12/05
All quotes for posts on this day were spoken by Brad Bird as Edna Mode in The incredibles:
"No capes!"

"You can't! It's impossible! I'm far too busy, so ask me now before I again become sane."

"Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *gods*!"

"What are you talking about? You are Eliasti-girl! My god! Pull yourself together! 'What will you do?' Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he's Mr. Incredible, and you will remind him who *you* are. You know where he is, go and cofront the problem. Fight. Win! And do call me when you get back, Darling. I enjoy our visits."

“I never look back, darling, it distracts from the now."

12/12
"I don't care whose fault this was, just get it sorted! And could someone please bring me something deep fat fried and smothered in chocolate..."
Jennifer Saunders as the Fairy Godmother in Shrek 2.

"In a row?"
Mike Belicose as Customer with Diapers in Clerks.

12/15
"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!"
Bruce Willis is John McClane and Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber in Die Hard.

"Logically, if we need defense against Number 5, this is the best we have."
Steve Guttenberg as Newton Crosby in Short Circuit.

"One time I was over there. One bathroom for nine people? And I never did see a toilet."
James Avery as Mr. Steve Yeager in The Brady Bunch Movie.

12/19
"I manually masturbate animals for artificial insemination."
Virgina Smith as the Caged Animal Masturbator Customer in Clerks.

12/21
"You tell me where my suit is, woman!"
Samuel L. Jackson as Frozone/Lucius Best in The Incredibles

12/22
"Yes, I did it. I killed Yvette. I hated her so...much...it...it...the...it...the...f...flames...flames...on the side of my face...heaving...breathless...heaving breaths..."
Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White in Clue

01/01
“You want to see my tits?!?! Here! Look at them!”
Sarah Joslyn Crowder as Megan Lowry in Slashers.

“It’d been two presidential elections since I'd had a boner like that.”
Bruce Campbell as Elvis in Bubba Ho-Tep.

“Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?”
Nick Frost as Ed in Shaun of the Dead

"Can I get... any of you cunts... a drink?"

Trivia for Squiggle #XLII

This installment of Trivia for Squiggle was originally intended for Thursday, December 29, 2005.

1026. Adolf “Adi” Dassler created Adidas athletic shoes in 1920. In 1948, his brother Rudolf founded the ocmpany that manufactures Puma shoes.

1027. The “D” in “D-Day” stands for “day.”

1028. Our days of the week according to the Ancient Romans:
Sunday: dies Solis (sun’s day)
Monday: dies Lunae (moon’s day)
Tuesday: dies Martis (Mars’s day)
Wednesday: dies Mercurii (Mercury’s day)
Thursday: dies Jovis (Jove’s day)
Friday: dies Veneris (Venus’s day)
Saturday: dies Saturni (Saturn’s day)

1029. These are the minimum net weights (in ounces) of egg sizes as regulated by the U.S. Department of Agriculture: Peewee (15), Small (18), Medium (21), Large (24), Extra Large (27), Jumbo (30)

1030. The original working title for the Beatles’s film “Help!” was “Eight Arms to Hold You.”

1031. The original title for Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” was “Eclipse.”

1032. The original name of Howdy Doody was Elmer.

1033. Elmer is also the name of folklore lumberjack Paul Bunyan’s pet hunting dog.

1034. At the end of Elvis Presley concerts, announcers would state “Elvis has left the building” over the P.A. to encourage attendees to exit.

1035. The middle name of Lucy Ricardo on “I Love Lucy” is Esmerelda.

1036. Kevin Spacey’s real last name is Fowler.

1037. Fort Hercules is the ancient name of Monaco.

1038. Superman’s Arctic hideaway is the Fortress of Solitude.

1039. Hong Kong means “fragrant harbor” in Chinese.

1040. In Hebrew, Tel Aviv means “Hill of Spring.”

1041. President Lyndon Johnson’s pet beagles were named Him and Her.

1042. Capn’ Crunch’s first name is Horatio.

1043. The Ghostbusters’s first job is at the Hotel Sedgewick.

1044. The original name of pop group New Kids on the Block was Nynuk.

1045. The Odyssey 100, made by Magnavox in 1972, was the first home video game system.

1046. Wonder Woman was born on Paradise Island.

1047. Parotitis is the medical term for mumps.

1048. Patio Diet Cola was the original name of Diet Pepsi when it was first introduced in the 1960’s.

1049. The English translation of Italian pasta varieties:
cannelloni: little tubes
fettuccine: little ribbons
linguine: little tongues
manicotti: pipes
mostaccioli: little mustaches
ravioloi: little turnips
rigatoni: little stripes
spaghetti: strings
tortellini: little fritters
vermicelli: little worms

1050. Octothorp is the technical term for the “#” which is also known as the “number” or “pound” sign.

“It’d been two presidential elections since I'd had a boner like that.”

Trivia for Squiggle #XLI

This installment of Trivia for Squiggle was originally intended for Monday, December 26, 2005.

1001. Shakespeare referred to the penis as “the dart of love” and “the potato finger,” among other things.

1002. There are no irregular verbs in Esperanto.

1003. Emergency telephone number 911’s counterpart in Australia is 000.

1004. .005 (1/2%) is the minimum proportion of alcohol in a beverage for it to be considering “intoxicating liquor>” according to the Volstead Act of 1919.

1005. Beethoven’s only opera was “Fidelio.”

1006. Even though China spans multiple time zones, it chooses to have one time setting for the entire country.

1007. The Barenaked Ladies tune “One Week” was #1 on the Billboard charts for...one week.

1008. The standard precooked weight of a McDonald’s hamburger is 1.6 ounces.

1009. The price tag on the straw hat of country music comedienne Minnie Pearl reads $1.98.

1010. There are two books in the King James version of the Bible that do not mention the word “god”: Esther and Song of Solomon.

1011. There were only two graduates in the first class of the U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1802.

1012. The Bactrian camel has two humps. The dromedary only has one.

1013. The original nightly room rate at the first Motel 6, which opened in 1962 in Santa Barbara, CA, was $6.00.

1014. The name of automaker Isuzu means “50 bells” in Japanese.

1015. Snuffleupagusm of TV’s “Sesame Street” wears a shoe size of 65 GGG.

1016. The Swedish group ABBA was named for the first letters of each members’ first name: Agnetha Faltskog, Benny Andersson, Bjorn Ulvaeus, Anni-Frid Lyngstad.

1017. Ethiopia was once known as Abyssinia.

1018.The motto of the United States Merchant Marine Academy at King’s Point, NY is “Acta non verba,” or “Deeds, not words.”

1019. Musician/actor Meat Loaf’s real name is Marvin Lee Aday.

1020. Actor/comedian Sinbad’s real name is David Adkins.

1021. Author Salman Rushdie’s real first name is Ahmed: Ahmed Salman Rushdie.

1022. President Theodore Roosevelt had a pet guinea pig named Admiral Dewey.

1023. Michael J. Fox’s real middle name is Andrew. He adopted the middle initial J in honor of character actor Michael J. Pollard.

1024. Pat Benatar’s maiden name is Andrzejewski. Her first husband was Dennis Benatar.

1025. Albion is the literary name for Great Britain.

“You want to see my tits?!?! Here! Look at them!”