Trivia for Squiggle #1

At the behest of Squiggle in the comments section of the post before this one, I am providing you all with some trivia...which will now be a weekly feature of this blog because I had a great time doing the research to find this stuff. There will be 25 per week, resulting in 100 per month (except for the month of July, of course). So, if you like the idea, thank Squiggle…but if you hate the trivia idea, blame Squiggle...hehehe

Trivia for Squiggle #1 contains useless information about historical events, the human body, and animals...which will probably only come in handy if you are ever on Jeopardy! and these are categories.

1. In 453 AD, Attila the Hun bled to death from a nosebleed on his wedding night.

2. In 1790, Samuel Hopkins became holder of US Patent #1. Thousands of patents were issued before his, but his was the first when the numbering started. He patented a process for making potash and pearl ashes.

3. In 1796, Catherine the Great (Empress of Russia) died of a stroke...while going to the bathroom.

4. In 1893, Queen Isabella of Spain was the 1st woman to appear on a US postage stamp.

5. In 1994, Jeffrey Dahmer was beaten to death with a broomstick by a fellow inmate at the Columbia Correctional Institute.

6. In 1998, Elizabeth Ann Oliver became the 1st woman to have her baby's birth broadcast live over the Internet (on June 16).

7. In 2002, Steve Fossett became the 1st balloonist to fly solo around the world when he landed in Australia on 4th July 2002.

8. A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.

9. A healthy individual releases 3.5 oz. of gas in a single flatulent emission, or about 17 oz. in a day.

10. By age sixty, most people have lost half of their taste buds.

11. Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.

12. Every person has a unique tongue print.

13. Camel milk does not curdle.

14. A capon is a castrated rooster.

15. The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an ailurophobe.

16. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but monkeys can't.

17. The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers.

18. A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime.

19. An electric eel can produce a shock of up to 650 volts.

20. Elephants can communicate using sounds that are below the human hearing range: between 14 and 35 hertz.

21. Felix the Cat is the first cartoon character to ever have been made into a balloon for a parade.

22. Macaroni, Gentoo, Chinstrap and Emperor are types of penguins.

23. Rats can't throw-up.

24. Swans are the only birds with penises.

25. A zebra is white with black stripes.

“Boy, the next word that comes out of your mouth had better be some brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit because it’s definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.”

Movie Quote Answers

I didn't post these earlier because I have been busy with work and lazy in my free time. My brain is complete mush right now. I went to a Metal Skool/Godhead concert last night and I still can't hear anything and I'm unbelievably tired (didn't get home until 2:30AM). Although I will say this. The band that played before Godhead was AMAZING. They were called The Subterranean Jack and they were everything Tool should be right now and even better than that. Every member of this trio is unique and incredibly talented. Their website is not up just yet, but you can check them out on MySpace for now.

7/6
"In a world where the dead are returning to life, the word 'trouble' loses much of its meaning."
Yet another quote from Dennis Hopper as Kaufman from George A. Romero's Land of the Dead.

“It's on random."
One of many lines from Shaun of the Dead that are repeated by one or more characters. This particular one was stated in the Winchester pub by Simon Pegg as Shaun after his girlfriend Liz dumps him and by Nick Frost as Ed towards the end of the film when the zombies are trying to break in and they battling the pub owner who has become a zombie.

7/7
"Fuuuuuuuuuck!"
Not actually spoken by Renee Zellweger as Bridget Jones in Bridget Jones’s Diary. It's a line that is scripted across the screen which represents something she would have written in her diary.

7/8
"Our bodies come and go, but this blood is forever."
One of many bad-ass lines spoken by the Almighty Bill Moseley as Otis Driftwood in House of 1,000 Corpses.

7/12
"Listen, there is no fucking ice cream in your fucking future!"
Yet another great line from Bill Moseley as Otis Driftwood from The Devil’s Rejects...go see it!

"Well, if you give me a chance I was gonna call you a crazy, pig-fucking, dumb-ass, pussy piece of shit."
Yet another line from The Devil’s Rejects, but this time it's Sid Haig as Captain Spaulding.

"My mom used to say, 'When life gives you potatoes, make potato salad.'"
"Well, life handed me a whole pile of shit. What am I supposed to make with that?"
"Shit salad?"
I actually wrote a little acoustic number a few years back (that never got recorded) called "Shit Salad" and it was based on these lines from Drowning Mona. I don't remember all the words but the beginning went something like "When life gets you down/Don't sing another ballad/Take all your troubles/And make some shit salad"...catchy, ain't it?

“My mom…” = Danny DeVito as Chief Wyatt Rash
“Well, life…” = Bette Midler as Mona Dearly
“Shit salad?” = William Fichtner as Phil Dearly

7/14
"The boogeyman is real, and you found him."
More Bill Moseley as Otis Driftwood in House of 1,000 Corpses!

7/19
"You've got red on you."
Not unlike the Shaun of the Dead quote listed above, this line is repeated throughout the film by these characters:

Rafe Spall as Noel at Shaun's work...which was called Foree Electric after the kick-ass Ken Foree of Dawn of the Dead fame, whose most recent film at this very moment is none other than The Devil’s Rejects!

Bill Nighy as Philip as he exits Foree Electric.

Nick Frost as Ed after he and Shaun kill the two zombies in their backyard.

Penelope Wilton as Barbara at Philip and Barbara's house.

"My Dad says the only people who put ketchup on hot dogs are mental patients...and Texans."

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

I can't stop watching this...

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

"You've got red on you."

Whisky 'helps fight cancer'

Hell yeah.

Looks like I'll be fighting me some cancer when I get home tonight...

Whisky 'helps fight cancer'

"The boogeyman is real, and you found him."

When life hands you strippers...

...make stripperade!

The title and line above were both taken from the almighty Defamer.com. Maybe there isn't any point in visiting this site anymore...you might as well just go to Defamer!

Honestly, when I first read the "When life hands you strippers, make stripperade" quote, I thought it would either be about something twistedly funny or a great horror concept. Then I went to the site and was initially met with a horror of another kind. Upon scrolling down, I realized it wasn't as absolutely disgusting as I thought it would be...but still DISGUSTING. And you know people are going to use this contraption for what I originally thought it was for and not for it's intended (yet still disgusting) use. Yeah, there's nothing sexy about this. Did I mention I thought it was disgusting?

In honor of this post, here's an uber-quote for today:
"My mom used to say, 'When life gives you potatoes, make potato salad.'"
"Well, life handed me a whole pile of shit. What am I supposed to make with that?"
"Shit salad?"

And they wonder why...

In the event you don't feel like/don't care about reading the Metal Skool saga posted below, here's a shorter piece of news. Apparently a sequel to the Goonies movie is in the works...further proof that there are no good new ideas left in Hollywood so they're just continuing to recycle old material. And they wonder why there's been a box office slump as of late...

The Goonies 2...a debacle in the making...

"Well, if you give me a chance I was gonna call you a crazy, pig-fucking, dumb-ass, pussy piece of shit."

Metal Skool

So I went to Metal Skool's LAST SHOW EVER (at the Roxy) last night. What is to become of the greatest 80's metal cover band to ever grace the Sunset Strip? They're moving their act to the Key Club...which is practically next door to the Roxy. More on them down below. Not only a 'historic' show, but also an especially cool show to me because the band that went on before Metal Skool was a great and relatively unknown group called Skumlove. More on them, too, down below. Oh yeah, and apparently the people on Sunset Plaza Drive finally wised up because the city put in "No Parking 8PM to 8AM" signs up all over that road. If I ever went to a show on the strip I always parked on SPD because it was in reasonable walking distance to all the clubs and it was FREE. Just a couple weeks ago I went to a Godhead show and parked there...but alas, those days are over.

First, let's talk about opening bands. The first opener was some lame, wanna-be hardcore, steaming hunk o shite called something like Time is the Enemy or Time is my Enemy...something about Time and an Enemy...I think...aw, Hell, I don't care. They sucked. In between every assault (and not in a good way) on my ears, the lead vocalist (the crappy rhythm guitar player was on vox as well) felt the need to talk to us between songs...I hate this 'life story' stuff. I'm talking about the whole "THIS HAS BEEN ALL OF OUR DREAMS SINCE WE WERE ALL YOUNG...(blah, blah, blah)...WE'VE BUSTED OUR ASSES TO GET HERE (yeah, you and every other band out there trying to make it) TO PLAY OUR MUSIC IN FRONT OF CROWDS...(more blah, blah, blah)...IF YOU DON'T LIKE US, WE DON'T CARE, FUCK YOU." Well, if you don't care then shut your mouth, finish your set (PLEASE!), and get off the stage...and oh yeah, fuck you, too.

The next offering was a band called Lockestar. They sucked, too, and they have a website which I refuse to list here, so if you're that curious then look them up on your own. They were punk-pop, wanna-be metal guys who came out wearing fur coats and glittery shirts. They also had feathered boas decorating the bass and guitar players's mic stands and the singer/guitarist had a glow in the dark purple bicycle chain strapped around his mic stand...um, yeah. I think I've actually seen this band before, but I'm not sure as most of these lame opening bands tend to sound/look the same after a while. I won't get all that much deeper into this crapfest, but they did close their set with a punk-pop rendition of Skid Row's "I Remember You" which was just wrong.

Now, on to Skumlove. I first saw them down in San Diego like two years ago when they opened for Godhead at a small, but totally cool 21+ venue called The Brick by Brick. During their crowd-pleasing and set closer "I Am Your God" Skummy likes to pull hot girls from the crowd up to dance. In San Diego he tried to get my girlfriend at the time to get up on stage but she didn't. While it would've been hot (because she is), I understand why she didn't, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want my girlfriend up there with dirty rockstars and drunk floosies. But I digress...sort of... SL was founded by lead singer Skumlove and guitarist Robyn Sin. They've never had a record deal yet they've opened for national touring acts like Godhead, Type O Negative, and Professional Murder Music, among others. I really respect these guys. They have a great sound (it's like industrial metal fused with 80's new wave, punk, and electronica) and they do everything on their own: writing/distributing the music, promotion, merchandise. Also, before the band line-up was solid several famous guest musicians played with Skum and Robyn like Dino Cazares from Fear Factory, Justin Bennett (one of the best drummers to watch live) from Professional Murder Music, and Frank Mercurio of Cypress Hill. They're down to four members now (there used to be two guitarists, now there's only Robyn) but even without the extra guy they sounded AWESOME. Skummy is a great frontman. He really knows how to work the crowd...although the lady in her 40's (she was there for Metal Skool) standing next to me was not all that impressed...I always giggled whenever Skum would stand in front of us at the edge of the stage and rock out because this lady would just cringe...hehehe...but they played four new tracks including the bad-ass, first time ever live number called "My Machine". I'd say "Go check them out!" but then again, I don't think a lot of people who are in to that kind of metal read this blog...but whatever...Go check them out! (Their link has been added to the right)

Now, on to Metal Skool. For those who don't know them, they are, as mentioned above, an 80's metal cover band. You might have seen them as Danger Kitty in a Discover card commercial a few years back. They basically dress up and act like 80's rock stars...but they are a tight band, very technically talented, and it's a fun show. Here's some of the songs they played last night so you can get an idea of what to experience at a Metal Skool show: "Nothin' but a Good Time" and "Every Rose Has its Thorn" by Poison, "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns n' Roses, "Photograph" by Def Leppard, "The Final Countdown" by Europe, "Live Wire" by Mötley Crüe, "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC...I'm missing a few tunes, but they closed with "Jump" by Van Halen. The singer and the guitarist from AFI guested on "Live Wire" and some guy from ESPN got the bouncers to let him up on stage because he was showing off the Super Bowl Championship ring one of the New England Patriots...at first I was like "Huh?" but then he actually brought two of the Patriots up on stage. I'm not sure but I think it was a Linebacker and an Offensive Lineman (if those are real positions), but yeah, I couldn't hear the introductions all that well...although I really don't care. The football players did guest vocals on "Highway to Hell"...one of the guys only new the chorus line which is basically the title of the song but the other guy did an amazing job on the vocals...but then he tried to do the rock star leap off the drum kit stage and almost fell flat on his ass. There was also a very spikey haired guy who looked like he was in his early 40's who did guest guitar on "Sweet Child O'Mine"...I have no idea who he was but he was wearing a New York Dolls shirt.

Basically, if you grew up in the 80's and listened to heavy metal hair bands, you would love this show. In between songs they do a lot of banter amongst themselves and with the audience. There's a lot of talk about doing drugs, boobs, having sex with groupies, boobs, drinking, boobs, making fun of Lexxi the retarded bass player (who I think is the coolest guy in the band)...did I mention boobs? It's all crude, but still very funny for the most part. They also like to get girls on stage to flash the audience. In the past one angry punk chick even got up, dropped her pants, and rubbed her 'clitosaurus' a bit. At this particular show, some dorky girl who looked like she was only 15 kept getting up on stage but refused to flash the audience, but that's ok because I didn't need to see that anyways...so her friend jumped on stage and made out with her instead. Some heavy-set and definitely drunk lady even jumped on stage and it looked like she was bitching out the guitarist all the while trying to grab his balls. It took FOUR security guards to get that lady out of the venue...she was a fighter...

The venue was PACKED...TONS of people at this show. I read on Skumlove's 'day after' update about the show that there was a line of like a hundred people lined up down the block trying to get into this show. Damn, it was hot in there... I happened to be sandwiched between the aforementioned lady in her 40's who hated Skumlove to the right of me and Metal Skool's 'Slut of the Month,' a girl named Karissa, to the left of me... Need background info? Ok, every month girls send in pictures to the band and the guys pick one girl to be their 'Slut of the Month.' If you go to Metal Skool's main page, there's a link on the left for the 'SotM'...if you're reading this in the month of August and beyond, the pic has changed and I don't think they archive the 'Slut' pictures...

After they finished with "Jump" they sold CDs and DVDs from the stage. I picked up one copy of each at ten dollars a piece. Wait, a cover band has CDs and DVDs??? Yup. Both are available at their web site or at their shows, obviously. The CD is called "Hole Patrol" and features an intro, four original tunes (Big Boobs, Hell's on Fire, Fat Girl (Thar She Blows), and Stripper Girl), three comedy interlude bits, and a cover of "Cleveland Roxx." The DVD has their video of "Fat Girl" as well as backstage prep, interviews, and alternate takes/deleted scenes from the music video. It's all quite funny.

So yeah, that was my evening. I didn't get home until about 2:30AM and only got about three hours of sleep...so I'm crashing right about now.

"Listen, there is no fucking ice cream in your fucking future!"

Ricky Gervais is AWESOME

For those who don't know, Ricky Gervais was the creator, writer, director, and star of the original The Office series which was remade by NBC in the past year. Here is yet another story from Defamer.com about an encounter between Gervais and the world's apparent favorite pseudo-celebrity, Paris Hilton:

Backstage at Live8 Ricky Gervais was at the side of the stage. Paris Hilton walked up to him and said how much she liked his stuff.

Ricky: “Have we met before?”
Paris: “Yes. I’m Paris Hilton”
Ricky: “Oh, sorry Paris, I didn’t recognise you without a cock in your mouth.”

Exit Paris in a huff.

Not only was The Office brilliant and I've always felt Ricky Gervais is one talented guy, but allow me to repeat myself: Ricky Gervais is AWESOME.

"Our bodies come and go, but this blood is forever."

Another Reason to Hate

Is it just me or does bother you a little as well? Here's a little tidbit from Defamer.com about that jackass Omarion (ex-B2K)...my comments are after the quoted text from Defamer:

"After spending all day checking CNN for the horribly depressing updates on the terrorist bombings, finally, some good news out of London:

Fans Pray for Omarion After London Bombing
LOS ANGELES, July 7 /PRNewswire/ - T.U.G./Sony Recording Artist Omarion was in London during the tragic bombings that struck this morning. He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home. He appreciates your support.

The title of the press release is a little misleading, isn't it? Given what follows, It should probably read, “Fans, Pray For Omarion After London Bombing.” The comma placement is everything. Also, the folks at Sony probably should've thrown in something about praying for the people who died or were injured in the attacks, but now we're really just splitting hairs."

I honestly can't believe that someone at Sony actually seriously thought it was a good idea and took the time to contact the press with Omarion's request that we pray for him. What makes him so special that he is worthy of our prayers? He probably has enough money to make Solomon blush...if he dies on the way home, I don't think it would be a tragedy. Not that I'm praying for his death, mind you, I'm hoping he lives so he can soon see the day when no one cares about his pompous ass and he struggles to hold on to the withered and decaying shards of his career, not unlike how today many bad 80's hair bands are still trying to pursue a career or make that 'big comeback'...don't get me wrong, I liked quite a few 80's hair bands back in the day...but that doesn't change the fact that most of them were bad. Getting back on track, yeah, if I'm going to invest my thoughts or prayers into anything, it's going to be for the souls of our fallen brothers and sisters from the other side of the pond as well as their surviving families and friends. My thoughts also go out to the several hundred injured who are going to have to live with such a horrible memory for the rest of their lives. I also feel very sorry for all the people who are without transportation now, as many people in London take buses or the subway, which are currently out of commission. I read one news bit where it took a woman two hours just to walk home because she normally takes the bus to and from work. I really hope MJ's family and friends in London are safe, alive, and unharmed.

"Fuuuuuuuuuck!"

It's on Random

Here's a few quick random things I thought I'd post before I actually get back to work...work? Um, yeah...

First of all, I put Bruce Dickinson's "Tyranny of Souls" album in my computer at work and CDs automatically start in RealPlayer. The interesting thing about RealPlayer is that they load information about the disc into the player's interface, giving the artist name, album title, track listing, runtimes... But also up in the corner is always a little blurb about the artist. Here's what it had to say about Bruce:

"Bruce Dickinson owns one of the most distinctive voices in all of metal. He deserves your worship."

Damn straight.

Second, I saw this news post on imdb.com about Britney Spears:
Britney Spears reportedly wants to rush a new album into shops, because she's running out of money since becoming pregnant. The pop star and husband Kevin Federline are struggling to fund their celebrity lifestyle and the recent $7 million purchase of and renovations on a new Malibu, California house, because neither are working - Spears rested her mic after conceiving the couple's first child, and dancer Federline hasn't worked for over a year. According to New York Post columnist Cindy Adams, the panicking pop princess wants to release another moneyspinning disc. Adams reports, "Mrs. Federline recently made a quiet call to her record label. The gist of the discussion: We've got to get money in the house. Cash flow is going down. How about we cut another album?"
You mean Britney's only doing it for the money??? Surely, no! I'd say "Whatever happened to artistic integrity?" but I'm sure that concept is foreign to her. My favorite part is that they are "struggling to fund their celebrity lifestyle"...struggling! Poor Britney.

And last, but certainly not least, China Opens Government-Run Clinic for Internet Addiction. Damn, we really are a pathetic species...

"It's on random."

Movie Quote Answers

Sorry for not posting these earlier. It has been a busy week. Here are all the answers to the movie quotes for last week's postings.

6/26
"Zombies, man. They creep me out."
I didn't expect anyone to get this one as the movie it originated from came out two days before I posted this line and I highly doubt any of you went to go see Land of the Dead...and you should all feel ashamed that you didn't. Go see it, damn it! Otherwise you'll miss Dennis Hopper's stellar performance as Kaufman, who says this line and many great others!

"Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over!"
This is Mark McKinney as Cabbie from Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy...in honor of Doug's trip up north (for those who don't know, the Kids in the Hall guys are Canadian).

6/27
"Well, hello Mr. Fancypants. I got news for you, pal. You ain't leading but two things right now. Jack and shit. And Jack left town."
Raza nailed this one. It's Bruce Campbell as Ash from Army of Darkness. Don't be surprised if you see a lot of BC quotes within this blog.

6/29
"Bring on the fluggegecheimen!"
Based on comments Raza and I exchanged over another post, I felt the need to post this quote from EuroTrip. It's Lucy Lawless as Madame Vandersexxx. However, I was torn between this quote and another. Both were so damn good so I used the other Madame Vandersexxx quote the very next day:

6/30
“Administer the testicle clamps!”
See above.

"In a world where the dead are returning to life, the word 'trouble' loses much of its meaning."