R.I.P. Buck Owens

Sorry to start out the new week with depressing news, but alas. Here's to a genuine artist who leaves behind a great legacy.

From imdb.com:

Country legend Buck Owens died of heart failure at his home in Bakersfield, California on Saturday. He was 76. The star, who sold more than 16 million albums and had 15 consecutive US country number one singles, passed away in his sleep. Born in Texas, Owens moved to Bakersfield in 1951 and had his first top 10 hit in 1960 with "Under Your Spell Again." Keyboardist Jim Shaw, who played in Owen's band The Buckaroos, says, "He was one of the true innovators. I think the reason he was so well known and respected by a younger generation of country musicians was because he was an innovator and rebel. He did it his own way, an outside gunslinger type who used his own band and made music in Hollywood rather than Nashville. That free spirit made him important to a lot of people." Owens also co-hosted TV show Hee Haw from 1969 to 1986.

Trivia for Squiggle #L

Howdy, folks! Welcome to the 50th issue of Trivia for Squiggle! It's all random crap as usual, but today's last entry makes me wonder...I sort of understand how it's possible, but putting reality aside and letting my fantasies run rampant, I now have a really spectacular and gnarly image in my head...

1226. A private elementary school in Alexandria, Virginia, accidentally served margaritas to its schoolchildren, thinking it was limeade.

1227. The Chicago Cubs are suing former Hartford Courant newspaper carrier Mark Guthrie to get back $301,000 in pay that was intended to go to a Cubs pitcher with the same name. The Tribune Company owns both the Hartford Courant and the Chicago Cubs.

1228. In February 2004, a Disney World employee was killed when he fell from a parade float and was trapped between two float sections. OSHA termed this a serious workplace violation, but Disney was fined only $6,300.

1229. The second Saturday in September is usually a popular time for weddings. Not in 2004, as most couples did not want their anniversaries on September 11.

1230. Mel Gibson has personally earned almost $400,000,000 from his movie "The Passion of the Christ".

1231. Austin High School in Texas has removed candy from its vending machines. Now some enterprising students are earning $200 per week dealing in black market candy.

1232. In 2004, Virgin Atlantic Airlines introduced a double bed for first class passengers who fly together.

1233. The world's largest book, "Bhutan: A Visual Odyssey" is in a Chicago public library. The book measures 5 feet tall by 7 feet wide when open. It weighs 133 pounds.

1234. Oprah Winfrey and Elvis Presley are distant cousins.

1235. The company that manufactures the greatest number of women's dresses each year is Mattel. Barbie's got to wear something.

1236. La Paz, Bolivia is the world's most fireproof city. At 12,000 feet about sea level, the amount of oxygen in the air barely supports a flame.

1237. The estates of 22 dead celebrities earned over $5 million in 2004. These celebrities include Elvis Presley, Dr. Seuss, Charles Schulz, J.R.R. Tolkien and John Lennon.

1238. George Washington spent about 7% of his annual salary on liquor.

1239. If you disassembled the Great Pyramid of Cheops, you would get enough stones to encircle the earth with a brick wall twenty inches high.

1240. Nearly one third of New York City public school teachers send their own children to private schools.

1241. The New York City Police Department has a $3.3 billion annual budget, larger than all but 19 of the world's armies.

1242. Al Gore's roommate in college (Harvard, class of 1969) was Tommy Lee Jones.

1243. A chef's hat is shaped the way it is for a reason: its shape allows air to circulate around the scalp, keeping the head cool in a hot kitchen.

1244. Life expectancy for Russian men has actually gone down over the past 40 years. A Russian male born today can expect to live an average 58 years.

1245. Each year, sixteen million gallons of oil run off pavement into streams, rivers and eventually oceans in the United States. This is more oil than was spilled by the Exxon Valdez.

1246. An employee of the Alabama Department of Transportation installed spyware on his boss's computer and proved that the boss spent 10% of his time working (20% of time checking stocks and 70% of the time playing solitaire). The employee was fired, the boss kept his job.

1247. Solid structures (parking lots, roads, buildings) in the United States cover an area the size of Ohio.

1248. A Brussels Airlines flight to Vienna was aborted because the pilot was attacked in the cockpit. The attacker was a passenger's cat, who got out of its travel bag.

1249. At General Motors, the cost of health care for employees now exceeds the cost of steel.

1250. Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.


Gang Leader: Don't fuck with the Lords of Hell.
Chris: Don't fuck with the babysitter.

The previous post's quote was from "Jason X" (aka: "Friday the 13th: Part Ten" or as I like to refer to it: Jason in Space!)
VR teen girl #1 = Kaye Penaflor
VR teen girl #2 = Tania Maro

This Morning's Shopping Excursion

OK, so when I got to work this morning, my first task was to locate big-ass Ronald McDonald-like clown shoes and red/white striped socks...and this was actually for work, for the head of our company...for some kind of gag during an interview. So I looked up a bunch of places online, made a few calls, and as it turns out the only place within a reasonable distance that had something close to what I was looking for was the Hollywood Toy & Costume Company on Hollywood Blvd, which is not too far away from Burbank...I had been there before to buy zombie make-up and fake severed limbs for the zombie short flick I did almost a year and a half ago.

The socks were a complete success, although the shoes were not quite what I wanted to get. They only had plastic red shoes that look kinda cheesy...any vinyl-like, shiny clown shoes were multi-colored...cool designs, but not what the company was looking for...I even sent a picture message on my phone (of the shoes, so the people in the office could see) for the first time. Since I was there I decided to poke around and do some shopping for myself. I could spend all day in a place like that and I saw so much stuff I wanted to buy, but needed to control myself. They had a cauldron full of nooses there, so I had to buy one of those...and I also ended up getting a plain white hockey mask - I have a glow in the dark one that Doug got me from Canada, but I thought I should get a plain white one, too, to add to my small but hopefully growing mask collection.

So when I got back to the office and presented my findings to the VP who requested them, I walked in with noose in hand and mask on face! He got a big kick out of it and I did walk around the office briefly after that with the noose around my neck. It's a good thing most of the higher-ups are hiding away in some crazy meeting right now...otherwise I'd probably be writing this from home instead of work!


Doug had mentioned these lines before, but what the hell, here goes anyway:
VR teen girl #1: Hey, do you want a beer?
VR teen girl #2: Or do you wanna smoke some pot?
VR teen girl #1: Or we can have premarital sex?
[both remove their tops]
VR teen girl #1, VR teen girl #2: We love premarital sex!

The previous post's quote was from "Beetlejuice"
Lydia = Winona Ryder

Life Update 031606

Well, it looks like things are going alright at the moment. I’ve been sick this whole week, but I think my diet of DayQuil, Airborne, and Power C Naked Juice is working as things are clearing up. The job's going ok, can't complain too much (the rather boring staff meetings and constantly being surrounded by pink make things quite taxing sometimes).

As it turns out I did not scare off the girl I had mentioned before. We talk just about every day and I'll be seeing her again this Saturday. She really is a keen girl (and hot, too!) and I'm looking forward to the days to come. We'll just see how long it takes until my dumb ass screws things up...after all, Scott's not that bright...in case you didn't notice that already...le sigh...


Lydia: My life is a dark room. One big dark room.

The previous post's quote was from "Tortilla Soup"
Carmen Naranjo = Jacqueline Obradors

Trivia for Squiggle #XLIX

Yay! I got TFS out on time today! It's a lot of random shite...as usual...hehehe

1201. A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed.

1202. The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually.

1203. 60.7 percent of eligible voters participated in the 2004 presidential election, the highest percentage in 36 years. However, more than 78 million did not vote. This means President Bush won re-election by receiving votes from less than 31% of all eligible voters in the United States.

1204. La Paz, Bolivia has an average annual temperature below 50 degrees Fahrenheit. However, it has never recorded a zero-degree temperature. Same for Stanley, Falkland Islands and Punta Arenas, Chile.

1205. A Wisconsin forklift operator for a Miller beer distributor was fired when a picture was published in a newspaper showing him drinking a Bud Light.

1206. G-rated family films earn far more money than any other rating. Yet only 3% of Hollywood's output is G-rated.

1207. More people study English in China than speak it in the United States of America (300 million).

1208. More than 2,500 left-handed people are killed each year from using products that are made for right-handed people.

1209. For every person on earth, there are an estimated 200 million insects.

1210. There are 2,000,000 millionaires in the United States.

1211. 1.5 million Americans are charged with drunk driving each year.

1212. A Georgia company will mix your loved one's ashes with cement and drop it into the ocean to form an artificial reef.

1213. The Washington Times newspaper is owned by the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

1214. The busiest shopping hour of the holiday season is between 3:00 pm and 4:00 pm on Christmas Eve.

1215. In 2002, women earned 742,000 bachelor's degrees. Men earned only 550,000 during the same year. The difference is growing so large that many colleges now practice (quietly) affirmative action for male applicants.

1216. Most of the deck chairs on the Queen Mary 2 have had to be replaced because overweight Americans were breaking them.

1217. The day after President George W. Bush was reelected, Canada's main immigration website had 115,000 visitors. Before Bush's re-election, this site averaged about 20,000 visitors each day.

1218. Only 30% of stolen artwork worth more than $1,000,000 each is recovered.

1219. The typical American child receives 70 new toys a year, most of them during the holiday season.

1220. 90% of Canada's 31,000,000 citizens live within 100 miles of the U.S. border.

1221. Costco is the largest wine retailer in the United States. Annual wine sales are about $700 million.

1222. The worst air polluter in the entire state of Washington is Mount St. Helens.

1223. There are less than 100 surviving American World War I veterans.

1224. A ten year old mattress weighs double what it did when it was new, because of the -ahem- debris which is absorbed through the years. That debris includes dust mites (their droppings and their decaying bodies), mold, millions of dead skin cells, dandruff, animal and human hair, secretions, excretions, lint, pollen, dust, soil, sand and a lot of perspiration, of which the average person loses a quart per day. Good night!

1225. Billboard magazine has recently launched a top 20 chart of cell phone ringtones.


Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?...It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.

The previous post's quote was from "Dogma"
Bartleby = Ben Affleck, Loki = Matt Damon

Natalie Portman & The McPassion

If you didn't see Natalie Portman's gangsta rap on SNL, then YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT:
http://www.devilducky.com/media/42822/

Also, someone at work forwarded this one to me. 'Tis the McPassion:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/mcpassion.html


Bartleby: Well, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like...
Loki: Easy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work.
Bartleby: What work did you do? You lit a few fires.
Loki: I rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference.
Bartleby: Oh, yeah, I'm sure.
Loki: Hey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer.

The previous post's quote was from "Die Hard"
John McClane = Bruce Willis, Joseph Takagi = James Shigeta

Trivia for Squiggle #XLVIII

Lo and behold! I actually posted a Trivia for Squiggle this week! This week's compilation of useless knowledge starts out with one about in-flight movies, which (as some of you know) is something I used to be involved in when I interned at the Miramax TV/Airline department for two years...yup, two years...ah, the stories I could tell. On a side (but related) note, there is apparently a TV cut of "Die Hard" (which I think is a FOX movie) where they replaced "Yippie kay-ay, motherfucker!" with "Yippie kay-ay, melon farmer!"

1176. Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.

1177. Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.

1178. Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."

1179. In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.

1180. Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.

1181. The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.

1182. The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.

1183. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

1184. In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.

1185. A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.

1186. The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.

1187. There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.

1188. Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.

1189. A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.

1190. Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.

1191. There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.

1192. The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.

1193. Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas.

1194. Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".

1195. The time spent deleting SPAM costs United States businesses $21.6 billion annually.

1196. The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.

1197. American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.

1198. McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling).

1199. Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.

1200. Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.


John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan.
Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.

The previous post's quote was from "Bubba Ho-Tep"
Elvis = Bruce Campbell

2 (or 4) in 1

I always find it interesting when you pass by a place on the road and there are weird combinations of 2 or more businesses within 1 commercial unit...or places that have two or more different kinds of food specialties. Just this morning on the way to work I passed by two such businesses on the same street: a Notary Public and Barbershop as well as a place that had a sign outside stating "Fresh Donuts and Chinese Food Made Daily!!!"...

This also brings to mind when I was in Studio City and saw an advertisement for a Swedish/Thai Massage...or my favorite: across the street from Los Angeles City College there's a restaurant that houses Louisiana Fried Chicken, Chinese/Thai Food, Pizza (at the pizza parlor section, you could also get stuff like chili fries), and Fresh Fish (they'll fry it for you for free!).

I know there are weirder combinations than this (feel free to share any you've seen in the comments section), but I just thought I'd share...

I'm aiming to get TFS up at lunch!


Elvis: Look, man, do I look like an ichtyologist to you? Big damn bugs, all right? The size of my fist. The size of a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

The previous post's quote was from "Quick Change"
Phyllis = Geena Davis, Grimm = Bill Murray

Return of the Schlock (& Other Random Tidbits)

Ok, first and foremost, I'm hoping to get a new Trivia for Squiggle up by tomorrow. I don't have the TFS materials at work and I haven't had time in the evening at home to get them up on the net...sorry!

As for this post's headline, I think I'm going to bring back posting random, weird (and mostly B-movie) movie quotes at the end of each post. Not that song quotes weren't fun...I mean, check out the "Gay Bar" discussion in the previous post's comments section!...but I'm just kind of in a movie quote mood at the moment. Although this time around I'll probably show the answer to a post's quote in the next post as opposed to amassing a lot of quotes and doing a "Movie Quote Answers" post.

So I met up with a girl last night (whom I met online). Whilst on my way home she texted me to say she had a good time (and that I was cuter in person)...and I didn't text back last night because she said she would call me. Well, she didn't call, but she does get off work at 11:30PM and then she has a bit of a drive home. So she was probably tired and I totally understand. But when I got to work this morning I texted her back and this is what I said: "I had a keen time, too! & if I may say, mm"...OK, so here's what happened: I was going to text something along the lines of "your pics online don't do you justice now that I've met you in person"...and I really do mean that...but I was going too fast and pressed the wrong button...then when I went to hit "CLR" to delete the "mm" I accidentally hit "OK" to send...egad! So I called her really quick and left a message to explain...because ending something on "mm" is just plain weird and kinda makes me sound like a pervert (not that I'm not, but that's besides the point...!)...but I took too long to explain and the answering machine cut me off. So I called back to finish what I needed to say...the whole time realizing that this all seems weird on my part and this girl probably thinks I'm a retard. But for whatever reason, I couldn't think of any other way to approach the situation. Damn you, text messaging! Damn you to Hell! ... ... ...well, it wouldn't be the first time I've scared off a girl...

Everybody at work has such noisy shoes...even the men wear some kind of shoe that makes it sound like someone in high heels is approaching...it's weird...I never know who is creeping up behind me... I myself wear a Skechers boot/shoe/Doc Marten kind of...shoe. So I'm really quiet when I walk around and I've scared people because they didn't know I was close because they couldn't hear me...there I go scaring people again...it's kind of what I do, I guess...

It's hard out here for a troll!


Phyllis: What's that smell?
Grimm: Used wine.

There's a DNA stain on my blog!

My results from the PersonalDNA site I swiped from High Desert Diva's blog:

Ok, so apparently I have a 'high femininity' percentage and I'm only 'slightly functional'...but that did say that I am a 'generous thinker'...


My Personal DNA Report


"Girl, I wanna take you to a gay bar
I wanna take you to a gay bar
I wanna take you to a
GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR
Let's start a war
Start a nuclear war
At the
GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR"
Electric Six, "Gay Bar"