Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I'm 46...

"Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse." ~ Bill Press

Trivia should be up a little later...sorry I haven't been on top of that...for some reason I'm not able to log on to Blogger from my computer at home, so I'm only able to blog at work... I guess I could type up all the shite when I'm at home, but my daily consumption of alcohol gets in the way of that...

At the moment it's easier for me to just repost this test that my mom forwarded me. I'm ashamed to be putting this up because the test came from Dr. Phil...apparently he scored 55, Oprah scored 38. I scored a 46...so I'm somewhere between Dr. Phil and Oprah...um ,eww...but seriously, when you read the range that 46 falls under, you will find that it is complete horseshit when it relates to me...

Your answers should pertain to who you are now, not who you were in the past. Have a pen and paper ready to keep track of what letters you answered for each question...here's a thingie at the end where each letter holds a certain numerical value... It's only ten questions long.

1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2 . You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7 (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS : People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Follow-up on Yesterday

"Life is one long process of getting tired." ~ Samuel Butler

Yesterday was a long day that included a long and shitty drive home...they're setting up for the Oscars in Hollywood and unless I took the fuck-all way down and went through the Downtown L.A. area (the 5 to the 110 to get to the 10 to the 405), which would've been an entirely different nightmare, I had no choice but to either pass through Hollywood or get on the 101 which gets fucked because of Hollywood traffic. So I endured a 1 hour, 40 minute drive home that began with me going about half a mile in 30 minutes. It's gonna be fucked again today and fucked again tomorrow...and there's a concert I'm going to at the Avalon on Saturday and things will be fucked then, too...FUCK!

But the silver lining in this mushroom cloud (at least in regards to yesterday) is that when I got home, what did my parents make for dinner??? Kielbasa and sauerkraut!!! I hadn't talked to them all day and they didn't know about my whole Oktoberfest-music-fueled morning, so it was purely coincidence. So I grabbed my bottle of whiskey, got drunk as fuck, and chowed down. There's plenty leftover, too, so at least I have something to look forward to and the end what will probably be a crap day today...this is going to sound wrong, and I know this, but I love sausage! Hehehe...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Oktoberfest!!! ... in February

"If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic." ~ Author Unknown

I've been listening to this CD all morning...ever since I got in to work at 7:30AM...



I gotta find a place that serves kielbasa for lunch...and I can't wait to get home so I can drink...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

TQFS #15 Answers

"A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern." ~ Edgar A. Shoaff

*UPDATE*: I forgot to say who got the highest score when I posted these answers earlier...that would be Yasamin with 5 out of 10 correct...!

1. According to recent research, about how many couples per year take out marriage licenses but fail to use them?
A. 9,000

2. On the island of Trobriand what would be considered a disgrace for a man to do with a woman unless they were married?
C. Take her out to dinner
The ocean one was more fun, but apparently to share a meal with an unmarried woman would disgrace her.

3. What is not a common item rented by brides for their weddings in Copenhagen, Denmark?
A. A wig with eight foot tresses
Shite, I think I want one of these if I get married (god forbid)...

4. How many hours did the longest kiss listed in the Guinness Book of World Records last?
C. 417
Did they sleep?

5. The German language contains how many words that refer to the act of kissing?
A. 30
There is even a word, Nachkuss, for all the kisses that haven't yet been named...egad...

6. How many female victims is the Countess Erzebet Bathory (the world’s most famous female serial killer) rumored to have killed in her lifetime?
B. 650

7. What was the name of John Wayne Gacy’s (rapist and murderer of 33 boys and young men) clown persona he dressed up as for children’s birthday parties?
A. Pogo

8. What was John Wayne Gacy’s job when he moved from Illinois to Iowa?
B. Manager of a Kentucky Fried Chicken
I'm so glad I've never been to Iowa and that I'm too young to have gone to that KFC... Here's a keen KFC-related quote which I've probably shared before but here it is again: "MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!" ~ Lewis Black

9. The song “Satan’s Barbeque” by Swedish metal band Terror is about a barbeque at Satan’s house with Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and who?
A. George Foreman

10. Which actor does the narration for both the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and the year 2000 remake?
B. John Larroquette

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Trivia Quiz for Squiggle #XV: "Say No to VD" Edition

"Love is like a flower; even the most beautiful kind dies." ~ Dietrich "Till" Lindemann

OK, I must thank the Almighty HDD for the subtitle to today's quiz installment...which happens to be the 15th TQFS (and 15 is the number of The Devil in the tarot)...this also happens to be my 275th Blogger post...


For today's batch of 10 questions, in 'honor' of VD, I've included five related to love/relationships/marriage and five related to serial killers/death/etc...have fun and good luck!


1. According to recent research, about how many couples per year take out marriage licenses but fail to use them?
A. 9,000
B. 13,000
C. 27,000


2. On the island of Trobriand what would be considered a disgrace for a man to do with a woman unless they were married?
A. Bite off her eyelashes
B. Throw her into the ocean
C. Take her out to dinner

3. What is a common item rented by brides for their weddings in Copenhagen, Denmark?
A. A wig with eight foot tresses
B. A wedding veil with the Danish coat of arms
C. Wooden slippers

4. How many hours did the longest kiss listed in the Guinness Book of World Records last?
A. 137
B. 216
C. 417

5. The German language contains how many words that refer to the act of kissing?
A. 30
B. 52
C. 69

6. How many female victims is the Countess Erzebet Bathory (the world’s most famous female serial killer) rumored to have killed in her lifetime?
A. 360
B. 650
C. 1600

7. What was the name of John Wayne Gacy’s (rapist and murderer of 33 boys and young men) clown persona he dressed up as for children’s birthday parties?
A. Pogo
B. Doink
C. Shaggy

8. What was John Wayne Gacy’s job when he moved from Illinois to Iowa?
A. Florist/salesperson at a roadside flower stand
B. Manager of a Kentucky Fried Chicken
C. Portrait painter

9. The song “Satan’s Barbeque” by Swedish metal band Terror is about a barbeque at Satan’s house with Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and who?
A. George Foreman
B. George W. Bush
C. George Hamilton


10. Which actor does the narration for both the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and the year 2000 remake?
A. James Earl Jones
B. John Larroquette
C. Christopher Lee

Don't get VD onVD...!

"Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion." ~ Miguel de Unamuno

...the headline's just a little word of advice I thought I'd throw out there for ya...

Anyways, I don't believe in this bullshit Hallmark/See's candy/every cocksucking jewelry store-profiting 'whore'iday, but this VGCats.com VD edition is fucking funny, for all you video game-inclined folks...it features a cartoon version of Shigeru Miyamoto and...Pants Man!!! Click on the image to make it larger... The Kirby valentine is my favorite...


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

TQFS #14 Answers

"If wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..." ~ me

OK, doesn't look like anyone else is going to take the quiz, so here's the answers to TQFS #14...although I will admit that this one wasn't my most favorite quiz out of all the ones I've done so far... mg got the highest score with 4 out of 10...

1. What is the best-selling brand of cookie in the world?
A. Oreo
Over 6 billion sold per year!

2. What nationality eats more chocolate per capita from the following groups?
A. Irish

Yeah, wha???

3. On average, what percentage of homemade dinners in the U.S. include vegetables?
B. 43%
Kinda sad, eh?

4. On average, rice is the staple food for how much of the world’s population?

B. More than one half
I honestly thought it would be more than that...

5. Since Hindus don’t eat beef, the McDonald’s in New Delhi makes its burgers with what?
C. Mutton
Mmm...sheep burger...

6. Sliced bread was introduced under the Wonder Bread label in what year?
B. 1930


7. What is the dye used to stamp the grade on meat made from?
B. Grape skins


8. What is the most widely eaten fish in the world?
C. Herring
Tempted was I to write in 'fish taco' as one of the possible answers, but I resisted...why? I do not know...

9. The Pillsbury Bake-Off has been held every year since:
B. 1948

10. How many varieties of watermelon are grown worldwide?
C. Over 1,200
I know...1200??? I only knew of 2...regular watermelon and then those weird square ones the Japanese produce...

Monday, February 12, 2007

Decisions...

"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear." ~ Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson

Um, new trivia two posts below this one...

This one's for Yasamin...dude, I totally sympathize with the shit storm that has rained down on you. While I can't do anything at all to help the situation, I'm hoping these pictures will put a smile on your face if for only a second...this little guy always warms my black and wilted stump of a heart whenever I'm down:

"decisions..."

"Decisions..."

"DECISIONS!!!"

Hymen placenta?

"Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend." ~ Author Unknown

NEW TRIVIA BELOW THIS POST!!!

I wasn't even thinking about posting this news, especially because I don't want to upset HDD seeing as how I just got back into her good graces (it's evil clown-related)...but the fact that there is a coffee out there called himan plu cento made me want to share the article and I had this thought as I read it [begin narration transmission from Scott's noggin]:

"Jeezy creezy, I remember growing up in a world where there was just coffee...regular and decaf...no fancy shit...kinda like how there were only two types of M&Ms back in the day...plain and peanut...now there's like 20...including the recently introduced dark chocolate M&Ms that are stamped 'm dark'...what has this world come to? Kids have too many choices these days...greedy little shits...

[end transmission]

Yup, that's what goes on in my brain...especially the 'greedy little shits' part...

Oh yeah, so you're probably wondering what the aformentioned news is ACTUALLY about...well, it's about how McDonald's coffee is apparently better than Starbucks coffee...and they happen to mention this mysterious 'himan plu cento' (hymen placenta!) drink...

Starbucks Wars

Trivia Quiz for Squiggle #14

"High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?" ~ Annita Manning

As Mr. Lordi would say, the raging hounds return! Here's the long-awaited trivia installment...hopefully we'll be back on a (semi) regular schedule from here on out...

1. What is the best-selling brand of cookie in the world?
A. Oreo
B. Chips Ahoy
C. Mother’s

2. What nationality eats more chocolate per capita from the following groups?
A. Irish
B. Swedish
C. American…ish

3. On average, what percentage of homemade dinners in the U.S. include vegetables?
A. 27%
B. 43%
C. 65%

4. On average, rice is the staple food for how much of the world’s population?
A. About one third
B. More than one half
C. About three fourths

5. Since Hindus don’t eat beef, the McDonald’s in New Delhi makes its burgers with what?
A. Ox
B. Turkey
C. Mutton

6. Sliced bread was introduced under the Wonder Bread label in what year?
A. 1890
B. 1930
C. 1950

7. What is the dye used to stamp the grade on meat made from?
A. Tree sap and food coloring
B. Grape skins
C. Squid ink

8. What is the most widely eaten fish in the world?
A. Salmon
B. Trout
C. Herring

9. The Pillsbury Bake-Off has been held every year since:
A. 1915
B. 1948
C. 1962

10. How many varieties of watermelon are grown worldwide?
A. About 200
B. Slightly less than 600
C. Over 1,200

Friday, February 09, 2007

Stuff what?!?!?

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." ~ Albert Einstein

As I was driving home yesterday I saw a license plate that read "STUFF♥R"...my first reaction was "Stuff harder?...awfully bold for a license plate..." Then I get a look at the person driving and it's a lady who's in her early to mid 50's...looks like maybe a school teacher...who goes to church...and all that... So now I'm getting all these images of her...getting stuffed...harder...um, eww...but at the same time I was like "Well, right on...you have just as much of a right ot be freaky as the rest of us..." Then about half a mile down the road I realized it was probably "Stuff lover"...yeah, I'm slow...and hey, who doesn't love stuff?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Yeah, I own nature CDs...

"Poverty, Frost, Famine, Rain, Disease, are the beadles and guardsmen that hold us to Common Sense." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't watch "Lost" but I heard a commercial for it on 95.5 KLOS and it started out with the first few seconds of this rain forest CD I own that I bought back when I was in high school. That was when I was writing music more and would throw in random samples/ambience from nature CDs (I had an Okeefenokee Swamp CD that was just awesome), sound effects I recorded, that kinda shite... When I heard the "Lost" commercial it was on the CD radio thingie in my bathroom and I heard it from my bedroom...at first I thought (despite that I knew I was listening to KLOS) I had put the CD in and the ghosts that haunt my house flipped the CD switch...and pressed play...but I also thought it was weird because I know I haven't listened to that CD for years...but I still remember exactly how it started and when the pan flutes and harps kick in and shit... But then the commercial part of it started...they only played enough of the Rain Forest CD before the pan flutes began...and basically just repeated that sample over and over again...and ended on it...weird...

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Top 10 Creepiest Fast Food Mascots

"We think fast food is equivalent to pornography, nutritionally speaking." ~ Steve Elbert

This one's for the Diva...

Top Ten Creepiest Fast Food Mascots
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/legendary-ads/soapbox/56

Oh yeah, and sorry this blog's been lacking in the trivia department...there might even be a new installment today...if not, tomorrow...

OK, I get it...

"Bad is never good until worse happens." ~ Danish Proverb

Y'know, when I was much younger I always wondered why my Dad had like 6 recordings of the same damn piece of classical music. It made no sense to me... But I just previewed about 5 different recordings in my quest to find a good recording of "Carmina Burana"...I put my favorite track to the test ("Fortune plango vulnera ")...on one the choir ennunciated the words better and on another the drums were just killer but on both everything would get drowned out at the climax...another sounded great but they rushed through the climax in what can only describe as the musical equivalent of a randy dog humping someone's leg... I settled on the Deutsche Grammophon release done by the Berlin Orchestra because it sounded great and had the perfect pacing. I may end up picking up one or two of the other recordings because there were parts of those that I liked...but the Berlin one was the superior version in my opinion. I remember going through a similar problem some years back when I was looking for a version of "Peer Gynt" where "In the Hall of the Mountain King" had a choir (most of the recordings I came across didn't, to my surprise...because it sounds so bad-ass with the choir)...but in that case I didn't really pay attention to the way the music was orchestrated or analyze the resonance of the timpani or think about how this part was faster in that recording to this recording or whatever...I just wanted to hear voices. I listen to a lot of metal and when I go to see the bands I like play live, often they'll change up parts here and there which can evoke a different emotion and feel from the song...so it's odd that I never really thought of classical in that way. When I really sat and analyzed and heard the way different parts were being played on "Fortune plango vulnera ," faster, slower, one instrument being more prominent at this part or the other, it really changed the entire mood of the piece. Not that I ever knocked my Dad for buying half a dozen different recordings of the same thing...I just never understood...but yeah, after a quarter of a century of existence on this filthy rock we call Earth, I get it...buy away, Dad...

Well, isn't that special?

"If you're going through hell, keep going." ~ Winston Churchill

An excavation in Italy discovered two skeletions who died hugging each other...apparently that's supposed to be moving or heartfelt or something... Now, the information I learned in college for my major came from a lot of archaeological study (not that I ever dug up anything personally) so it may be weird for me to say this, but when you think about it, if these two people did indeed die in a loving embrace it's kinda fucked up that someone now is disturbing that 'eternal embrace'...you know they're just going to dig up the bodies (it's not like they'd re-bury them out of respect) and put them in a museum somewhere...which is where we'll all be in a thousand years...well, unless some psychopath eats your flesh and dissolves your bones in a vat of acid in his/her basement...

The Eternal Embrace
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070206/sc_nm/italy_embrace_dc

Monday, February 05, 2007

Japanese Tongue Twister...

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." ~ M. Kathleen Casey

...and nut cracker...

I tried to embed this link, but long story short it didn't work, so yeah...
Say this tongue twister, or else

Is It Any Wonder?

"If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience." ~ Robert Fulghum

My sister just returned Keane's second album ("Under the Iron Sea") to me after having it for, well, a long time (and it was only released last year!)...and before I go any further, yes, I listen to Keane. I actually can identify with a lot of the song lyrics because let's face it, Tom Chaplin must've had his heart ripped out by someone before/whislt writing those songs...but that's not why I listen to this band. I really like their combination of vox, percussion, and keyboards...the sound is just right and actually more pure on their first album than their second... While getting reacquainted with #2, I was reminded of these lines that express something I've felt for a long time:

"Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm
Stranded in the wrong time
Where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme, a soundbite"
from "Is It Any Wonder?"

Just before you think I'm getting totally sappy, I'll say this: I dig the era I'm living in as far as technology, music, zombie movies, etc...but I always thought it'd be keen to be born a couple thousand years ago when you could get away with almost anything and there was no forensic science CSI shite to catch people...MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And as much as I would like to believe in that thing you humans call love, maybe it really is just is a lyric...that 'nice' thing you say to make people feel good and to sell records, movies, and books... So on that note, here's the other cool line I heard from another CD my sister returned to me:

"The Devil's hungry and he's eating light!!!"
from "Hell's on Fire" on Metal Skool's "Hole Patrol"

Friday, February 02, 2007

I am a Mean Bastard...

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." ~ Dante Alighieri

I really want to send one of these to HDD...yes, I am MEAN...anyone know the Diva's address??? Hehehe...

Every morning I...

"Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage." ~ Mrs. White

...listen to this song on my media player as I walk into work:

Fuck The Pain Away
by Peaches
album: The Teaches Of Peaches (2002)

Sucking on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like Blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches
What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like Blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
What else is in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches, Huh? What?

Huh? Right. What? Uhh
Huh? What? Right. Uhh
Huh? What? Right. Uhh
Huh? What? Right. Uhh

SIS IUD, stay in school ‘cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school ‘cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school ‘cause it's the best
IUD SIS, stay in school ‘cause it's the best

Sucking' on my titties like you wanted me
Calling me, all the time like Blondie
Check out my chrissy behind
It's fine all of the time
Like sex on the beaches
What else is in the teaches of peaches? Huh? What?

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.

Huh? What? Right. Uhh
Huh? What? Right. Uhh
What else in the teaches of peaches?
Like sex on the beaches
Huh? What? Right. Uhh

Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.
Fuck the pain away. Fuck the pain away.